I am a 17 year old ex-Muslim. My parents disowned me in April (2013).

I have not believed in Islam and had been pretending to believe since I was about 12 years old. I do not know anyone in my family that has left Islam and I did not live in an area with a big Muslim population therefore I do not know any ex-Muslims.

I started dating a non-Muslim boy and my parents found out (by reading my texts) in February. They then tried to pull me out of college. I was so scared and I did not know what else to do so I ran away and stayed at my boyfriend\'s house for a couple of days. My parents harassed me, my boyfriend, my friends and his parents to try and make me come home. Eventually I did after they agreed to not try to pull me out of college (which I realise they couldn\'t but they could easily stop paying for me to travel to college) and accept the relationship I have with my boyfriend. As soon as I came back, I was criticised. They tried to make me become more religious and kept telling me how I was doing something very wrong by having this relationship. I just couldn\'t take it anymore. They would make me read Qur\'an sometimes twice a day and I wouldn\'t understand what I was reading. I\'ve always felt detached from Islam. I\'ve never been able to believe in it when I could see it\'s flaws.

I told my parents that I didn\'t want to be a Muslim and hadn\'t wanted to since I was 12. My Dad made me pack (only giving me 5 minutes and I only had my college bag) and then they dropped me off at my boyfriend\'s house. They told me that they do not want to talk to me until I \'come to my senses\' and become a Muslim again and stop dating my boyfriend. This was 4 weeks before my AS exams and they did not let me collect my work for a week.

I have 2 siblings: an older sister and a younger brother, neither of which I have seen since about April. I miss them and occasionally my parents too. All I wanted was to not feel trapped and all Islam did was make me feel trapped. That is why I left but by leaving I have lost my whole family.

I guess I just don\'t want to feel so alone anymore and finding this group has made me realise I am not.